I think he changed. He was nt like this in the past. THe latest reply he would give will be like a few hours not after a few fucking hours... haiz i remember hw in the past on weekends he would msh me in the afternoon its ntlike we r on cold war. sometimes i feel like asking him question, but i can predict wat he will say--> he will say that i am sensitive or he dont want to answer. haiz he last time treat me soooooo gd, nw.... i rather him ugly but treat me veri gd, thn nw wat everybody would call him--> handsome. but wats the point of having a handsome bf while he doesnt treat uu the way uu should be treated. so, whenever ppl say he is handsome, i would always always think to myself that it no big fuck, cos when uu go out wif him, uu will see girls staring at him, and he will feel pleased like of cos i think every guy will feel that way.
But the point is i wan the old him back nt this guy nw... he like dont give a fuck bout me.. i really wonder whether he care bout me anot... i sometimes really think that even if i gt into a car accident, will he show care for me as well... i thought of a lot what if
-what if during the holidays, we always go out
- What if he nv meet cy
-What if his family wasnt so complicated
haiz i rather die nw thn facing this... i read ina newspaper once that in relationship, uu r really mature if uu can give up on a relationship, i think i am forever immature, i cant give up on this relationship i cant... i thot to myself before that what will happen to me if we r nt together anymore. i remember walking alone while thinking that it may sound dramatic but i could just feel a sharp pain in my heart while thinking of dat. I sometimes woke up during my sleep, veri suddenly and just feel depressed... cos i gt a nightmare of him and me... i love him so much so uu can imagine wat nightmare did i dreamt of... i remember telling myself that it was just a dream but it felt so real... i cant have a good nite sleep anymore... ever since we fucking distance... rite nw i am waiting for his text...its 10+ nw and the last time he was online in watsapp was 12+ am... wow... :'( i want the old him back so badly... i swear if he was nt back.... so, am nw remembering the things we did in the past... i really really dont want us to be sooooooo close and the next thing uu noe, we r strangers... this is nt the relationship i want... i really hate reading my diary, old post cos it just make me even sadder.... it just remind me of the old him... i really am nt sure if i did change anot, but if i did i dont even think he will realised... uu noe he doesnt care much about me anymore... this is sad isnt it... while i am still obessing wif me even more i swear rc noe hw much i am obessed wif him :> friends just help uu a lot in tough times. They noe whether anot r uu sad, angry and they will make uu happier i am glad i am friends wif them :) they help me in relationship problems and they always make me laugh even wif their lousy jokes :) were all bad in sports XD friends r really just as important as family and relationship as well. i think that relationship will affect ur studies unless uu dont have self discipline or uu r going thru tough time in the relationship. i kinda hate walking past couples rite nw, they make me jealous XD i will be thinking to myself bout dear and i thinking that hw i want to be wif him nw. which i dont think he will feel that ever since he changed. 11:11 pls change back dear to his old self and close this freaking gap between us <3 i must have been living in a simple world in my past life cos nw i am living in a complicated and torturing world which i just cant bear to leave... cos i am attached strongly to it...
rite nw, going out wif my family so frequently wont bored me. i mean like uu rarely want to go out wif me... do uu want me to rot to death at home... i spent a lot a lot of money at NEX on clothes all this but i doubt uu will be able to see cos we rarely go out :( one thing i want in ppl is to be honest wif me. Yes i will be quiet or my face will show like i am angry or something, i will cmf ask uu to repeat it again and i wan ppl to repeat it again. i think this is hw i listen to ppl honesty XD ya its weird but this is me. :D i really really hate it when ppl beat around the bush and dont dare to say the truth. >.< its really is irritating so obviously my mood will be bad after uu say the truth i meant like in the end uu dw to say the truth until i FORCE you... so who the hell wont be mad i noe i will... i also want ppl to tell me wat they been doin, i dw other ppl to tell i dw to be the one finding out i wan uu to say it i dont think its veri hard to say... i just dk y ppl dont wan to say it. haha i just remember hw shy i was in the first few months XD i couldnt even look at his photos in fb cos i dont dare to look XD i am weird >~< but nw i am looking at his photos every single min if possible :) haiz i nd to start everything again the way we behave rite nw is like we were behaving in our first 2 months which is unbearable >.< ahhh i remember dear saying to me that if one person work hard in the relationship it can be save XD dk whether he can remember saying that but nvm :)