I really hate the holidays firstly projects. I have gt tons of projects nt yet finish. Secondly, erm i like meet dear once in this whole holiday which is sooooooo fucked up. other couple are like meeting at least once a week. thn me? fucked my life... i rather died alone thn live in such pain. i ask him out and in the end? seriously.... this is the worst holiday i have ever had... even worst thn last year june where my grandfather....
well, fine, if this is hw its arranged. so be it. cos when school starts i am so gonna be a different person physically. i love him sooooo much and missing a person the feelings totally sucks i am alwayd falling sick easily is cos i am always stuck at home. i have nv felt grateful in my entire life to have voilin lesson. and y ? cos i get to go out and at least talk to someone other thn my family and nt thru texting. the person whom i love a lot i have only met once a month and my voilin teacher who is nt really my friend but still get along i met for like once a week.... how funny is dat.... seriously... i cant talk my feelings to anyone.... and nt to mention after the holidays... erm we gt a lot of stress he cant possibly be sooooo concentrated on me?! so wow this just adds up to my torturing, sad life i 'love' my perfect wonderful life.
i have always thot i gt the perfect life. a great family, my studies, well at least they are okay sooo far and great friends and a great boyfriend whom i love dearly. but nw.... look at me hw i wish thr is someone by my side
its nt like we have to meet everyday but come on.... we only met one time in this whole month is it sooooooo hard to just meet? its like he doesnt miss me..... he told me he have done his best in being my bf okay if that wat he really feel so i should just love him for the way he is... but really? no signs of missing me ? all days uu have been goin out? and uu cant meet me? yes friends can be important but can uu learn to just meet me for once. yes i love him so so much but dont take my love for uu granted.  even if uu noe i love uu a lot , that doesnt mean uu stop showing ur affection?!
arghh i should just focus on my stupid useless project and back to my miserable life
another day of loving and missing dear and a normal day of y miserable life
i feel like screaming out loud and letting my pain go away.